Falling Prey.

You say you want to pray for me. Then if you must please pray for my peace of mind. Pray that I may know and share Love in my life and that I show courage in the face of adversity. If you feel the need to discuss me with God then thank him for his creation and his blessings on my behalf. You would be doing me a service and I would thank you. But should you wish to pray that I be not what I am, that I change for your judgement and that I challenge your ignorance less, then I ask that you keep your prayers, because I fear that you will need them more than me. Amen.

Crush Monk

Its 7am and I'm in a panel van covered in stickers that make it look like a space ship. I've been up since 4h30am and now that all of us ( 3 actors and crew) have assembled we are off to Alexandra to perform in an energy efficiency campaign for school kids. Despite the early start its a sweet gig and it has rekindled my love of Kwaito and Afro house music which our driver plays religiously en route to the schools to help us all bop ourselves awake in the morning. Playing an energy efficiency super hero in informal settlements seems a natural progression from my previous role as a Greek God in a circus. Many would be suprised to know how much happier I am now in comparison to how I felt then. I am well and truly a child of Africa and although I had a blast in the UK, this is were I come into my own. I'm still really keen on one day breaking into the kwaito and house music industry and have already started following some leads. If I am truly a closet black woman as was suggested by one of my lecturers at Varsity then its time I let her out for some fresh air. I can actually hear a communal sigh of resignation from some of my friends and family. You knew this was coming because I have always modelled myself on Brenda Fassie. You know mos! So here I am approaching 30 in the city of Gold and still dreaming of being a pop star, but it feels good and this is after all a country that is "alive with possibilities". I only really feel lost when I have nothing to work towards. I have worked tirelessly on the pursuit of Love and romance and have tasted quite a lot of success but am beginning to lose enthusiasm and so I want to leave that up to fate now for a while because I've done enough and sometimes you can overpaint a master piece. That lilly is not only gilded but also covered in Swarovski crystals so I'm going to step away from the Love flower for a while and focus on other projects. Having crushes on people and playing the wooing game monopolises so much of my creative energy that I would rather try and rechannel all that energy into something more constructive like being a Kwaito star and affording medical aid. So here goes! If you start hearing me on the radio in a collaboration with Mendoza or Tamara Dey in the near future you'll know I accomplished my mission, and remember you heard it here first. And why the hell not?

Head Knock!

Newly back in the country and I've already been witness to a a violent crime in the leafy suburbs. Or perhaps not. The worst thing about it is that I can't be sure what I saw because I was driving and only caught a glimpse as I was turning off Weltevreden into Berario. I saw a man in a 90's style white BMW stop on the side of the road and run towards a man standing next to the open car door of his big luxury 4x4 and begin beating him violenty over the head with some indefinable blunt object which may have been a gun or even a half brick. It all happened too fast because next thing I knew I was driving down another green avenue looking deceptively tranquil unsure of my own sense of reality. My mind raced. Was he a policeman apprehending a criminal? Was I just witness to a highjacking or just another drastic case of road rage? What the Hell! I still have no idea what went on there. Then as Life the dualistic minx would have it I went on to have an amazing evening watching a great show (Rocky Horror at Broadacres) and catching up with supernificent friends some of which I haven't seen in Yonks. No wonder schitzophrenia is rife! Life slaps you, plucks your eyebrows and then cuddles into your kneck to give you a butterfly kiss. (And I thought the men in my life were giving me mixed messages!) Otherwise life is good. I still have not started working and have just returned from a haze of food sunshine and familial bliss on the Vaal Dam. All I have been doing is reading, eating, sleeping and swatting mammoth mosquitos, and now I know for a fact that the body fat percentage measurer thingy at the gym is stuffed, because today it reckons I have dropped 2% body fat since I last measured four months ago at my fittest. Life has a stellar sense of humour too.