Tuesday, April 15, 2008


In my head and on my own I often critticise people that I deem to be superficial and shallow. But I have begun to realise that I am just as bad as anyone I could ever point a finger at. I claim to be "looking for Love" a "deep meaningful relationship" and all these other proclimations that I have made in the past. But truth be told I think that what I have really been looking for is a male model with a compatible personality. I don't even look at anyone I don't find physically attractive. I know that a its also my subconsious looking for a person that looks good because this indicates that they take care of themselves and are capable of loving themselves and so then perhaps then me too. But I can't claim a genetic predisposition cos God only knows how I would procreate with a suitable man short of adoption. But I REALLY REALLY want to be with someone HOT! Is that bad? I mean I'm sure there are amazing personalities trapped inside many people that I find unattractive but does that make it my job to look through the physical facade of "hildaness" and discover the gem inside?

In every other aspect of society, when one is shopping for a product noone judges you for being influenced by its aesthetic properties but for some reason when it comes to Love and relationships, many seem to expect others (me) to overlook the heavily padded or pimply packaging. I pray to the Faeries that they can help me find someone who is the best of both worlds. Someone who will allow me to live happily on the border of Love and Lust. Otherwise I will be forced to drown face down in the shallow end of my loneliness. Or perhaps learn to Love myself so much that I will no longer find the need for a significant other. Or perhaps the search will drive me mad causing my personality to splinter and give me muliple personality disorder. This may not be as bad as it seems because perhaps two of my personalities will be hot and compatible and then I will have some sort of satisfaction. And people say homosexuality is narcissistic! I think I am taking too much Gingko Biloba in the mornings.

1 comment:

  1. I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to be with someone that you find attractive. Yes there are many people out there with great personalities, but you have to be attracted to them first to get even close to them to discover their personalities....